Can't stop

I can't stop, I can't stop yeah
I can't stop, I can't stop yeah
-"Can't Stop" by M83

When I told my friend that I periodically went to campus to read, he suggested that I not as I should really get away from the place that had caused me so much stress during the year. I appreciate the sentiment, but, as I lie here stricken with these thoughts and emotions that I thought I had finally been able to purge myself of, I can say with some semblance of confidence that it was never really the institution that set me on my downward spiral, but quite simply just an uncontrollable impression of inadequacy. And that is something that follows me around like a bad habit.

I've been taking the summer easier in the hopes that I could have some time to gather up those broken, shattered pieces on the floor around me. For a while, I really thought I was making progress. But, now, as I hit the two-month mark of my self-imposed vacation, I realize that I'm really still a smouldering wreck inside. I just wish I knew what I could do. The usual suspects of my anxieties are as easily discernible as the birds casually chirping outside my window or the sun that's set to rise about an hour from now. I guess there aren't too many things I can do about them (since regret comprises a majority of my qualms, and, well, simply put, I can't go back in time). However, I guess I should go ahead and take care of a few small things.

Maybe then I'll be able sleep again...